"Don't piss on me you fucking bastard,"she screamed mentally when the rain suddently seemed to purposefully be blown directly on top of her head as she was sitting on the step outside the kitchen back door next to the dog bowls under the awning avoiding the rain. Simultaneously she was giving the impression that it was a dual purpose curse she felt she could get away with on the grounds that it was directed towards both her Allan in Heaven and The Almighty. Neither of them were really there with her and she felt so alone, there was noone else to talk to.
Feeling a little guilty now, she crept back inside 'Bonnybrae' to see if her sister and her sister's boyfriend may be feeling a little more sociable. A quick peek into the lounge area found them canoodling on the floor, obviously thoroughly enjoying each others' company and not the least bit interested in entertaining or interacting with her in any way. She thought to herself that this seemed pretty mean as it was, after all, the first time she had met her sister's new boyfriend. He had a good first name, Bruce, so she reckoned it couldn't all be bad.
Feeling ignored and rather lost, she pottered around the house, content to find her own way. Then she found the telephone. She picked it up hoping to find someone on the other side to talk to. She thought, here I am, the lines of commuication to God are wide open, surely there is someone out there who wants to ask some questions? She put the phone back into its cradle and stared at it for ages, yet still it didn't ring. In her state of mind she had no idea who she could or should phone, but the need to talk was overwhelming.
Having only a few hours before finished the last day of the Reiki II course in Plumstead, Rita became the obvious choice to call. Surprisingly, Rita was at the other end of the telephone although Philippa did not get the reaction she felt one could expect upon hearing such awesome news about open lines of communication with God. Time seemed to waver in thin air until Deborah wandered in and found her huddled over the telephone with no-one on the other end of the line.
Real communication between the sisters had ceased to exist and taking her upstairs to a double-bedded bedroom was all Deborah could do to sort out her sister who was in the way of her passion-filled evening. On the way Philippa found a music cd entitled 'River Dance' which sent a bolt of 'aah, yes this is it' feeling through her and she immediately asked if she could borrow the compact disc, thinking that because it is 'n the family' it must surely be no problem.
"No, I dont think so, but you can ask Bruce" was the reply from Deborah who later confirmed that that was indeed the case. She felt devastated that they didn't realise the importance of the River connection and how she obviously needed to uplift herself with what could only possibly be music or songs that were divinely inspired and meant for her in that moment.
With the wind taken out of her sails, she allowed her sister to direct her into the upstairs bedroom which to her, seemed to be cold and unloved. The lack of comforting and nurturing was reflected in the starkly decorated bedroom with the wooden two-door cupboard.
Confusion, sadness and the feelings of abandonment ran through her mind and body and she reluctantly accepted her fate and climbed onto the bed and under the bedding they had provided.
Darkness and shadows abounded. The overwhelming presence of a giant penis, like a shadow, cast its darkness diagonally accross the full height of the double cupboard. She could not make sense of this dark, shadowy energy, other than to acklnowledge it's awfully powerful presence. She felt afraid with her lack of understanding, but simply wondered to herself what it was all about and slowly but surely seemed to drift off into a rather unconscious state of sleep.
